How I Write: Description and ROW80 Update

The Senses

The Five Senses

Everyone knows the five common senses: sight, smell, taste, touch, and sound. You want the reader to see, smell, taste, feel, and hear what your character does.

Another Two

There are also "senses" that are not physical or neurologically based, but more like perceptions. The two I like to use are time and space. When trying to convey one of these senses, you have to incorporate one (or more) of the main five. Usually, it will be sight. The position of the sun in the sky can give your reader a sense of time. But sound is helpful in showing a sense of space, such an echo in a large room. 

Which Words??

Ask Questions

There are so many words available to get the world you are writing about across to the reader. To figure out which ones paint the clearest picture of your scene, ask yourself some questions about the experience you are trying to give your reader.

Is it good or bad? Lots of words have connotations that help convey a feeling with your description. Be sure to use adjectives that mesh with the overall idea you are going for. If you are trying to show the reader an upper class woman in a good way, for example, you might use words like slender, elegant, and exquisite. You wouldn't want to use words like skinny, snobby, or hoity-toity, since these words give a negative feeling. 

Is it strong or weak? With a weak scent, you might say, "A slight trace of roses lingered in the air." For a strong odor, you might say, "The repugnant stink invaded my nostrils, instantaneously invoking my gag reflex."

What does it remind you of? What is something common that you can compare it to? If you are working in science fiction or fantasy, the thing you are describing may be unlike anything your reader has ever experienced. In this case, try comparing it to something common that your reader will be familiar with, then tell how it's different. Speaking of different...

How is it different than other things like it? When describing something common, like a chair, don't tell us what we already know. Don't say: it has four legs, a back to lean on and a seat for your rump. Everybody already knows what a "chair" looks like. Tell us what's different or unique about this particular chair. Maybe the back was carved from a dark, shiny wood to resemble vines climbing a trellis, or the seat is upholstered in the softest grey fabric you've ever had the privilege of running your fingertips across. 

Alliteration

Personally, I like to use alliteration in my descriptions. I feel a repetition of consonant sounds makes the words flow off the tongue and leaves the reader with a lasting impression. This is especially true when describing sounds: A cacophony of crashes called me into the kitchen. Okay, that might be pushing the limits a little, but you get the idea. ;)

My Example: The Beach

Here are some examples from the beach. I give one sentence for each of the seven "senses" I listed previously. See if you can tell which sense I had in mind when I wrote each sentence. 

The robin's egg blue sky stretched forever, meeting the navy blue ocean at the edge of infinity.

The gritty sand rubbed the skin between my toes raw.

The waves crescendoed, culminating in crashes interspersed with the calls of the seagulls.

Exquisite, lime-tinged Corona slid down my throat, leaving a bittersweet residue on my tongue.

The air swirled around me, bringing with it a heavenly mixture of salt and coconut tanning oil.

The toddler's neon pink bikini was in clear contrast to her pale, ivory skin and butter-colored curls.

The pink dawn and orange twilight were the perfect bookends to a beautiful day.

For practice, make up a sentence of your own for each sense and post it in the comments below. I'd love to see what all of you creative writers come up with. How do you write description? Any great ideas that I missed? Let me know!! I appreciate any and all feedback. Even if you think this sucks, as long as you tell me why you think it sucks. I can't wait to hear from you guys. Interaction is what this life is all about.

Also: ROW80 Update #4 April 15th 

You can see my goals here.

Writing: 233 on my "Tanka" post Friday, and wrote on this a little more before posting.
Reading: One down, three to go!
Editing: Still only at 6 pages overall. Gotta work on this! Seriously.
Blogging: This post, with update!! Plus my "Tanka" post on Friday. ;-)

Description: Faery

Here is a purely descriptive short piece about one of the settings (Faery) of my work-in-progress. Enjoy! (And comment if you have a minute.)

Faery

A shiver ran down my spine as my body passed through the portal into the magical realm of Faery. Fantastical scenery surrounded me. If I had been colorblind, it wouldn’t have been half as startling. Many things had familiar shapes: grass, trees, flowers, streams; though with vastly different colors.


Everything shone like it was lit from within. Every few steps I wanted to stop and inspect something. A bunch of garnet-colored flowers swayed even though there was no wind, as though slow-dancing to some melody that I just couldn’t hear. Bright, white light streamed from two suns, one low and one hanging high in a soft pink, cloudless sky.


The air was heavy with a wild mixture of strange, fruity aromas and almost no breeze. My mouth watered as I imagined a plump, burgundy fruit, so full of sweet juice that it dripped from my chin with every bite. A gurgle drew my attention to a small brook flowing with water the deep orange color of sunset back home.


A long line of tiny birds, the size and color of golf balls, marched like ants, high among the feathery, lavender leaves of a tree. When the small leader opened its beak, the tinkling sound of bells erupted and every single bird in line stopped frozen. If I hadn’t just seen them moving with my own eyes, I would have sworn they were concrete statues.


A little farther along, I came to an odd looking tree. The stiff, navy branches seemed to be slotted. As I stood bewildered, a light wind blew through the slots. Suddenly, strange music filled the air and small, furry animals the same cerulean blue as the grass darted around beneath the branches, snatching falling seeds as soon as they touched the ground.


I spun around with my arms outspread, surrounded by wildflowers in every color of the rainbow, trying to take it all in at once. There was such a feeling of peace as I took a deep breath and a smile stretched across my face.








I appreciate any and all feedback, even (especially) if you think it sucks, but only if you tell me why you think it sucks. Let me know!! I can't wait to hear from you guys. Interaction is what this life is all about!! 

Thanks to StoryDam for the prompt.